My last post dropped something of a bomb, and I think I should elaborate more about what is going on.
First the good:
I started this blog as a way to connect with others I could talk to, when only one other person knew (for sure) that I am gay. In less than a year, I have come out to many more people, including close friends, than I ever expected to. I am well on my way to coming out to my parents, though I haven't done it yet. I'm still a lot closer than I ever thought I would be right now.
I am no longer going to find a sham wife. I am going to live my life my way. This has been a marvelous 8 months for coming to terms with my sexuality. The boy and I still talk frequently (almost daily), and I think we'd be dating if we weren't so far apart (I don't know how to define long-distance relationships, so I don't try). I don't really think I need the blog therapy anymore. I can actually talk to real people I know in person and trust implicitly whenever I have concerns or doubts.
Now the bad:
The other part of this blog was for me to opine about policy issues, but the news has become consumed with the presidential election, which I find depressing anyway. I've had a harder and harder time finding things that actually electrify me, and my policy posts have decreased significantly in quantity and quality.
I'm just going through the motions here. I haven't changed my ideas, values or principles; however, one can only say "low taxes, low spending, free markets, individual liberty" so many times before it becomes rote. Additionally, my readership has peaked and declined. I just don't think I am contributing much anymore. Posting has become almost a chore.
What's next:
I have decided that I won't delete the blog, even though I may not be adding to it. So feel free to read the archives, and visit the links.
I just want to focus on enjoying my third year, graduating, studying for the bar, and starting my job. Beyond that, my future is bright.
I'd like to date, find a partner, adopt a child, and have a family.
I'd like to work for twenty-five years, live comfortably but below my means, build a considerable nest egg, and retire from the law to run for public office (as a Republican in a party that is no longer defined by homophobia).
I'd like to retire from public office after making a real contribution to my community and/or country, and spend the rest of my life in relative comfort surrounded by close friends and loved ones.
Once again, thanks for all your help and support. It has been great for me, and I am a richer, more confident person because of it.
Cheers.
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6 comments:
It's okay. We got it. You want to spend your time with REAL people. Sure. Fine. Us figments of your blog imagination will just fade back into the ether...
But Pink, I just found you! I've read your archive, and I feel a real connection, philosophically. I certainly understand; you have good reasons to discontinue. But gosh, I'll miss you! Maybe you can come visit my blog? And comment? I identify with the way you think. And I value your perspective, both as "pink" and republican.
Pink,
I am glad that you have made the great progress that you describe. I am sad, however, that you are giving up the blog. I have enjoyed it and your views greatly even when not in full agreement (I sent an e-mail to the Republican Party of Virginia about gay baiting it's engaging in the other day that I'd like to perhaps share with you). Perhaps you can help retake the GOP from those who have ruined so much of what it once stood for.
For now, I will keep on blogging. I need the therapy and I am going to start up again describing my own story from where I dropped off a while back after moving out of the marital home. I still hope to write a book someday using some of what I have assembled on the blog. Plus, I like voicing my political views,
I hope your last year is a good one and wish you all of the best.
Michael
Your blog has touched me deeply. I'm sorry that you're leaving the blogging world. I've enjoyed reading your personal stories and your political musings have given me food for thought. As a "child" of the Goldwater years (I was a child then - ahem), and an economic conservative, your posts have me re-reading many old favorites - including Mr. Goldwater himself. Thanks for stimulating the grey matter of an "older woman!" And good luck coming out to your family. I suspect they already suspect and will continue to love and cherish you unconditionally. I wholeheartedly support gay marriage and your struggle in today's society. Good luck and don't forget: You're one of the good guys.
damn It i just found you too..
it doesn't matter if you don't post on politics!
As a rare political animal you can't quit. Because the job is not done. We need a voice, so we need to add and not to subtract.
You're stepping into a new, "real", path for the same purpose. BRILLIANT, but is it really a good reason to abandon you international voice?
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