I HATE outing people. I think it is a vile practice that is hardly ever justified. As someone dealing with the turmoil of coming out myself, I know how scary it is. I still remember how the worst thing in the world would be people finding out my secret. Outing someone is only cruel, and in the case of poor Tyler Whitney, particularly so. (The story I linked to is a prime example of the heartlessness I describe).
Here is a young Republican kid working as a webmaster for a presidential candidate. A marginal one at best, but still not a bad little item for a political resume. Whitney was quietly coming out to friends (indicating that he was not ashamed of his orientation or hiding it; rather he just felt it was a personal matter), but then because he happens to work for Tancredo some people decided it was high time to punish him.
In reality the outing was meant to throw egg on the face of the Tancredo campaign, the life of this poor kid being one of the shells that had to be broken. Anyone who denies this is lying or delusional. What does the alleged hypocrisy of one kid matter to me or any other gays at all? (Indeed we may ask what does the Tancredo campaign matter to us at all). Nothing, he is just an expendable political tool. It makes me physically ill.
As someone who knows full well the pain of being gay in the right (no one accepts you), my heart goes out to Tyler.
(H/t Queer Conservative)
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Leave Us Alone: Getting the Government's Hands Off Our Money, Our Guns, Our Lives
The reflections of that rare political animal, the gay Republican, as he struggles to accept himself and have others accept him, all of him.
Pink Elephant
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9 comments:
I must say I can agree with you to a point, but this definitely has some relevance. It would be equal to discovering that the KKK employs a black person. How could it be irrelevant to discover that an organization/cause publicly decries something but privately accepts and perhaps even supports it?
Pink, I can't deny you your position on this. It's not black & white or one-size-fits-all. We will never know Tyler's reasons or justification for his actions. By doing so, however, he stepped into a very dangerous arena. He is now suffering the consequences. I have some empathy for him but not a lot.
Pink,
I disagree with you on this. Is his outing unfortunate in some ways? The answer is clearly yes, particularly given his young age. On the other hand, all of us are responsible for who we work to support. Knowing that he was gay, working for the Tancredo campaign was ill advised and in some ways an example of self-hating behavior.
Moreover, the urge to get ahead or fluff your resume does not excuse you for working for someone with evil views. Think how many young Germans got involved in the Nazi Party to get ahead and build their resumes. The end does not always justify the means of getting there.
I worked on many GOP campaigns in the past, but never for someone flagrantly spouting the bile of Tancredo.
PinkElephant you make some strong points. Tyler Whitney was indeed softly coming out until the despicable homosexual leftists set upon him. It is absurd to think either Tom Tancredo or anyone supporting him is anti-gay.
It's time we in the gay community woke up to the fact that not everyone buys into the lifestyle or the juvenile demand for special rights. I volunteer for the Sam Brownback campaign. Sam is slandered all the time by gay militants. Yet the only thing he opposes are uneccessary legislation like hate crimes (which there are already laws covering)
I have another friend from high school who lives in Fort Collins and works for Marilyn Musgrave. He will probably never come out because the gay community is so nasty and unwelcoming.
Why are the elite leftists of the gay community so ruthless? What happened to the diversity they always used to brag about? It is no wonder more and more young gay boys and girls are deciding to work for candidates who uphold traditional values like Mike Pence and Bob Ney.
I would say that gay Republicans are a substantial part of the gay community. Liberal Democrat gays need to think twice before they continue their childish campaign of vicious outings.
I warn them as did Tyler Whitney: "SMASH LEFT WING SCUM!"
My point is that this situation was never about Tyler; it has always been about Tom (and I do not mean uncle). Do I think Tyler always behaved appropriately? no. Nonetheless, I see this kid as nothing more than a pawn to undermine the Tancredo campaign (which in itself seems like an unnecessary exercise). The point of his outing was not "look, Tyler's a hypocrite!" it was "look, Tancredo is a hypocrite."
I'll agree that the ends doesn't always justify the means, but that maxim cuts both ways. Was it necessary to cause this poor, obviously conflicted, kid a lot of grief and strife for the minor political damage it would do to a third tier presidential candidate? I don't know how anyone who has had to come out in a potentially hostile culture or society can agree that it was.
Brian Baker has apparently been listening too much to the Christianist anti-gays if he calls being gay a "lifestyle." I guess breathing is a lifestyle too by that standard.
I for one do not want "special rights," but I sure as Hell want EQUAL rights. I pay the same taxes and have the same burdens placed on me as a citizen, so why shouldn't I have equal legal civil rights? Would Brian think differently if he was a victim of gay bashing and hate driven assault?
I have to wonder whether Brian is really gay (of the self-hating variety) or is he actually some Christianist? I cannot imagine a self-respecting gay working for Brownback OR Musgrave.
Lastly, I have found the gay community VERY welcoming. It's my former GOP and straight friends who wrote me off and act like I am invisible when they see me. Brian, wake up and smell the coffee!!!
P.S. Bob Ney was a crook. I guess corruption is a "traditional value."
I also totally disagree with you on this one. Outing is usually wrong, but not with this kid. You mention that he was just trying to pad his resume, but you forgot to mention what else he did:
"He’s serving as webmaster for the GOP’s most rabidly anti-gay presidential candidate Tom Tancredo, leads an anti-gay group on his college campus, carried a “Go Back in the Closet!” sign at anti-gay protest."
You're correct that they outed him just to hurt Tancredo. But Tyler HIMSELF is a hypocrite, not JUST for supporting somebody that hates him, but also for PERSONALLY working to hurt gay people.
It's true that he did it because he was conflicted, and that's sad. As I said on my blog, I intend to work with young people just like him and help them to accept themselves. But he crossed the line. As the article said, he painted a bullseye on his back.
Conservatives are all about personal responsibility. When an 18 year old commits a crime, even the left doesn't excuse him just because he was conflicted or had a bad upbringing. The same applies here. It's undoubtedly sad that he felt he had to do what he did, but he still did it. He was old enough to know better. Hypocrisy should be called out.
Matt,
Your thoughts parallel mine and, again, I think Tyler got what he deserved under all the attendant circumstances.
P.S. I love your blog - it (especially your coming out narrative) was one of the things that inspired me to start my own blog.
Interesting to watch the scrambling with his myspace page as the week went by. From hate filled almost supremacist junk to, hi, I am Tyler, and finally set to private.
I dont feel sorry for the guy. A lot of folks make decisions in their life to hide something they dont yet know how to deal with both internally and externally. However, you have to keep in mind that every decision has consequences. Sometimes, you get lucky and are able to anticipate most of them. Mostly, you miss a few.
If you haven't hurt or offended too many people in life these moments of oversight won't impact you for too long. If that is not the case, then you may reap some fairly unpleasant results.
The bottom line always comes down to living your life with honesty and integrity with the best information you have available at the time.
I wish the guy a lot of good luck and understanding in his future. Based on the information I have read about him, this event could very well send him barrelling down a very dark path.
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