Why I am not taking your calls anymore

David,

By now it should be clear to you that we are not "over;" we are a "never were." I really don't want to hear from you in the future. Let me tell you why.

1) I made it clear from the beginning that I am not looking for a relationship. I am only in town for the summer, so anything long term is out of the question. Also, you know I am only just barely out, and any dating I do is more about testing the waters than looking for a boyfriend. The expiration date of whatever we were has passed.

2) Despite my being clear about our having no future, you sure got possessive really quick. You flipped out when I mentioned I had a date with another boy. You tried to make me feel guilty, even though I WAS ALWAYS CLEAR THAT WE WEREN'T GOING TO BE SERIOUS. You even got me to apologize just to shut you up. That was a big strike against you. When you asked later if I had seen 401(k) again, I lied when I said no. Shame on me, sure, but I was trying to avoid another scene.

3) Then the next time we went out, you got someone's phone number. Were you trying to get back at me, or are you just a hypocrite? Either way, strike two.

4) It might have been nice for you to have paid once. I know I made more money than you, but it's not like I took you to Bistro Vendre Trop Cher to flaunt it. I was careful only to take you to places that you could afford as well. Yet, never even a suggestion that you could pay this time. Classy. Strike Three. In baseball you would have been out at this point. Lucky for you, I don't follow sports.

5) The moment I decided not have any more to do with you came at Pride. HUGE red flags went up when you revealed your cavalier attitude towards HIV testing. Thank God this prude was always very careful.

6) When two weeks before my trip I said, "let's see what my schedule is like after my trip," that should have tipped you off that I am pulling away.

Oh, and while we're at it, here are some other things I don't like about you.

7) You smoke. [Note to blog readers, although I will fight for the smoker against the government, it is a disgusting habit, and it doesn't make me want to kiss you].

8) You have no obvious goals or ambitions.

9) I have to explain my jokes to you.

10) You called me "honey." I never want to be called "honey." "Dear" is even worse. We weren't even close to point where you could try out pet names.

11) You reacted very badly when I mentioned that I am not a Democrat. I don't expect you to agree with me politically, but I do expect that you can at least allow me to have my own opinions.

So, David, I hate to be the bad guy, but you leave me no choice. We are not compatible at all. I wish you the best and hope you can grow up some. However, you will not be growing with me. Please lose my number.

Most sincerely,
Pink Elephant

PS: I've met someone else.