Monday, June 18, 2007

Another date

Since my last couple of posts were rather serious and sparked a bit of controversy (thanks to Matt and the DtB readers for joining in!), I thought I'd lighten things up with a description of my latest date. I mentioned when discussing last week's social calendar, I was going out with yet another boy. It was the second time we had seen him (you see, we had our pre-date last Sunday), so in gay dating time we have known each other for over a month. (note: I shall continue to translate for my 6 straight readers).

This boy has only one job [[is not an artist/actor/musician supporting his "craft" with a day job]], and even contributes to his 401(k)! This fact alone made me melt (I am a Republican after all).

We met downtown near where I work (he works in the suburbs but got off before I did). I had neglected to get dinner reservations because 1) I am still new to the city and don't know what the really good restaurants are, and 2) it didn't look like you needed them anyway. We were seated immediately once we selected a little french bistro [[overpriced pretentious cafe, that was sort of romantic anyway]]. The two of us decided to try a new drink together, so we ordered a Trance (have no idea what was in it, but it was blue and tasty). We had a couple each. Regardless of my alcohol consumption, I was able to remain discrete about the fact that I hunt old people and the poor for sport [[am a Republican]].

Our plan had been to go to a movie after dinner [[make out in the theater]], but dinner ran long, and so instead we just walked around this trendy [[expensive, and though not officially gay, popular among gays]] area of town. We stopped in a gelateria that also served gelato-based alcoholic drinks! Finally, we ended up at a coffee shop with an outdoor patio and people watched [[judged the appearance of passers-by]]. We found that we have compatible senses of humor (probably in my top three criteria for a date).

After coffee, we decided to check out the big gay bar in this city. Oddly enough, Friday seemed to be a rather slow night. Although Thursday is their big night (I never understood that--don't people have work on Friday too?), Friday was especially slow, judging from some of the remarks from the staff. Nonetheless, there were enough people to run the gamut of all gay stereotypes.

First there was an older gentleman who resembled Mr. Humphries from Are You Being Served. Mr. Humphries, was dressed age appropriately [[as a 50+ year old he was wearing Brooks Brothers not Abercrombie]] and appeared to be with another gentleman. As 401(k) (that will be my date's name in this blog) was ordering our drinks, Mr. Humphries approached him and had a polite, if flirty conversation. 401(k) asked him if the other gentleman was his partner and Mr. Humphries replied, "Oh god no! There's no ring on this finger. I noticed you don't have a ring either." I asked later if 401(k) knew this man, and the response was "no, and he made me really uncomfortable." Later in the evening I glanced in the direction of Mr. Humphries and got a little wave and a "let me show you a good time" look. I waved back out of my southern politeness instincts, but I felt creepy.

Then 401(k) introduced me to a couple boys he actually knew. One was like a gay parody from some sitcom. He was a hair designer [[he cuts hair for way too much money]] with bleached hair, was about 6'2 and had anywhere from 0 to 1% body fat. He talked with an affected femme-y voice (I presume affected because when he genuinely laughed the pitch didn't really match his speaking voice), and was snarkily sarcastic in a way that's really funny, but in the back of your mind you wonder what he's going to say about you when you leave. The hair designer was with a friend who had similarly bleached hair, though it was much longer than hair designers, and the friend wore not only lip gloss but eye makeup and had perfectly white teeth [[spent his money on both hair AND teeth bleaching]]. I was decided un-made-up [[my pre-going-out grooming regimen had only taken about an hour]]. Seriously, if these two had been characters in a movie, the gay community would be outraged at the unfair stereotyping.

Without going into the specifics of everyone I met, suffice it to say that there were all kinds in this bar, some I liked more than others.

After we had been out for several hours [[about the end of the third date in gay dating time]] we decided to explore of 401(k)'s employee discount at the hotel chain he works for, "just to see" [[find out if we could get a nice room on the cheap]]. We ended up at a really posh hotel for next to nothing [[$80]], and enjoyed all sorts of amenities [[ ;-) ]]. I never though myself a very affectionate or intimate person (with women--I think now we all know why), but it turns out I really do enjoy just holding someone.


Lewd & Lascivious said...

Play on, playa! Congrats on the, ahem, successful date. ;)
I'm like you: fiscal responsibility in a man totally turns me on. That and expertise in shooting guns. Oh, and other things too I guess, who am I kidding...
Loved the running translations: keep 'em up! Even for heteros who are fairly fluent in Gay, they're very educational.

Marcos said...

No offense, but you just perpetuated a lot of stereotypes yourself. You keep talking about 'gay time' as if it is some universal truth. Then you relate how you apparently couldn't wait to have sex with this guy in a hotel. Not all gay 'conservatives' are as promiscuous as you. I just don't want straight people reading this to get the impression that all gay Republicans get to know someone so little before sleeping with them.

Icon said...

Yes we do!

Anonymous said...

I'm not posting my name out of respect to Pink's privacy.

As a very good friend of his and a straight conservative, I have to say, Marcos, that you are way off the mark about Pink's behavior. These things happen: it's so easy to read a blog and get the wrong idea about people.
But for the sake of the truth....Pink is anything BUT promiscuous. He's just now starting to (gradually) come out, and these are the first dates he's ever had.

You've jumped to some pretty big conclusions about the date that Pink didn't write. He never said he had sex with anyone. For all you know, he just made out and snuggled (FAR more likely, knowing him as I do).

I don't think he referred to "gay time" as universal truth, either--just shorthand for the fact that a lot of gay guys move quicker in dating. Which is true of a lot of gay guys. You were reading too much into that--Pink is just having fun describing a good date that made him happy. Don't be such a party pooper!

Pink Elephant said...

Hey Marcos, sorry if I offended you, but a few things might make you feel better.

First, these dating posts with the "translations into straight" are meant to be entirely tongue in cheek. I meant to lighten the mood here after the big Tyler Whitney debate. Certainly I indulge a few stereotypes, both of gays and Republicans, but they are meant to be taken lightly.

Secondly, I got the gay dating time idea from a friend of mine who has been out for almost 10 years and actually helped me come out myself. I assumed that if Nick could joke about it, I could do so safely as well.

Thirdly, I very purposely use the [[ ;-) ]] designation to leave the details up to the imagination of the reader. On the one hand I definitely want to keep the blog at a PG-13 level, on the other, the more vague I am the more you can fill in your own details, which may be more titillating than reality (who knows, maybe according to Bill Clinton I don't even have a sex life).

Fourthly, Anonymous' point is spot on: this is the first I have EVER really dated. I can't be sure, but I bet that a lot of folks coming out in their mid-20's like me feel the need to "catch up." Many of my straight friends have been dating for 10 years or more now, so I sort of feel behind the curve.

Finally, although for the sake of humor I do tend to universalize in order to play off certain stereotypes, I hope it's clear that these experiences are mine and mine alone. Besides being a political blog, this is a blog about my growth into an emotionally well adjusted adult from a lifetime of self repression. Indeed, the most important line of this post, at least for me, was the last one. That one wasn't a joke; I was ecstatic to learn that I can be intimate emotionally with another person. For a long time, I thought that such things were not in the cards for me.

So again, I am sorry if I played fast and loose with certain stereotypes in a way that offended you, but honestly I just meant to lighten the mood and share something I consider a huge personal milestone.

Anonymous said...


I've been enjoying your tales of your foray into the dating world.

Enjoy yourself. You deserve it. Trust me on that point.

(and I thought the translations were hilarious, if you could have heard me chuckling away to myself while reading them)

Jason said...

I've gotta say I've been loving these posts. The sense of humor in them is great and makes them much fun to read. They make for a nice change of pace.

Michael in Norfolk said...

Good for you Pink. I must say your GOP references crack me up. You are pretty sardonic yourself. :)

I wish you luck in your dating endeavors and hope you find someone special.

Just to keep you motivated, I will try extra hard to find some great "male beauty" postings